memories of Altered States, presently known to me as Ass Suckers, in the BXFactor...

I used the internet archive engine, the Wayback machine, and dug up an old column I wrote for the BXFactor.com, Race Against Time...That was back in 1998...Pre-Bush era...And I also got some of my facts wrong...It's actually the third wave of Korean immigration into this country that my Mom took part in...though it was quite larger than previous waves...Don't mistake me for someone fixated on race...I was just writing about how my chosen family at the time was such a mix and that I was actually just a citizen of the world. Anyways, the archive is great for looking up previous site designs and articles...

I was in a different frame of mind, brainwashed...It is true...the sensory deprivation tank creates a beast who reflects in human moments...I reflect on being a member of AS...(Art Stupid by Toph, Santa Cruz)
AS (Art Stupid) in the BX Factor...
Originally uploaded by snailsone.
I think I took it all too seriously...If you watch the movie, Altered States, it makes a lot of sense why a group of geeky artists circa 1990 would come together for parties and for support while striving to make art and then grow older and then become more and more obsessed with spending time in the sensory deprivation tank just because nothing else makes us feel as alive...Nothing, nobody seems real after the swirling world of galleries and street stories...The joke amongst a few of us is that we were Anti-social, Aw Sh*t, I added the Always Skillin', Abolish Stereotypes part...I think there is a point where the advertising asphyxia starts to destroy the fabric of what comes naturally in nature...That's why after knowing so many artists, it is so hard to get past all that marketing..."I've got this show...I'm in this book...blah blah blah..." No hi, no how are you that's sincere between the promoting...One day, I woke up and realized I couldn't idealize brotherly love with people I don't know have the same ideals...What was it that brought us together in the first place? It was always the ability to sit around and sketch in each others' books and that we were all painters, a family...Anyways, I decided to get out of AS straight outta the cafes and tracks of Oakland, CA in 1999...My homegirl Monica told me when she turned 29, thinking she was already thirty said that she was happy about thirty because then she could stay away from those people she didn't really want to hang out with 'cuz she found out how valuable her time is...Yeah, She was right...

I still have some fond memories of those years in my early twenties...In the end, however, I found I just needed to be in the right crew for me...I didn't know any better and I was passionate and loyal about AS for many years, but the blinking crestfallen reality of romanticizing a collective of people that I did not feel were family was ultimately heartbreaking and also made me cynical about people...frienemies, in particular...

(Text edited May 18, 2008)


AS (Art Stupid) in the BX Factor...
Originally uploaded by snailsone.